Tom learns to talk back
Mention Tom in a public post and the site's oldest resident writes back, drawing on the platform's knowledge base and your public posts. He runs on a fast, small model and keeps it short.
You type @tom how did this place start? into the reply box and send. Once your post is approved, Tom answers in the same thread. His reply is a sentence or two, a bare link to a post he dug up, maybe a :-D. Ask him how his rusty joints are and he simply chats.
Credit goes to paulinevos, who gave the site's fictional greeter a brain. Tom runs a fast model through a hosted service in a quick, direct mode, with two read-only tools. One searches the knowledge base, the other searches public posts as an anonymous reader, never your pending or rejected ones. Each reply gets three model steps, at most two searches of each kind, five posts per post search, three knowledge excerpts, and up to twelve earlier posts from your branch, capped at 12,000 characters. The house prompt asks for one to three sentences and no em dashes.
One catch. Tom answers a given post exactly once, ever. Delete his reply, or have a moderator reject it, and he stays quiet. Before writing a word he checks for any earlier reply of his own, deleted ones included.